"Jaise marzi chal rahi hai waise kapde pehen kar chal de rahe hain."

I reminisced his mother's voice as we finally stepped out of the house.

She didn't say much, maybe because she didn't want much chaos,

when we were finally moving out.

For almost a year or so.

But her perfunctory approval about the clothes told me enough.

My hands had tightened around the dupatta as though trying to hide the void of my neck.

When she smiled-blessing both of us.

He had stepped in front of me.

I released a breath, almost grateful for it.

The house smelled like sandalwood and fresh air that felt heavy and light at the same time.

As we finally sat inside the taxi.

I remembered his words.

"Kabhi kabhi na khud ke man ka kar lena chahiye."

His voice was gentle as his fingers drummed across the water bottle.

I squinted my eyes as I looked at him.

"You will not be able to keep everyone happy always."

A slow curve of lips gave way on his face.

The clothes felt light suddenly.

The cool air brushed my face and the void felt like relief on my neck.

I peeked into the purse.

I brushed my thumb over the pendant of the nuptial chain.

I couldn't help but mirror his smile.

My thoughts snapped back, as I heard the firm voice of a soldier in front of us,

despite the bustle of the airport.

His voice was sharp, distant among the crowd-olive green clearly visible.

"Jai hind sahab, welcome to Jaipur."

He returned the salute with the same authority, acknowledging him.

"Jai hind."

So different from what I had seen.

The white shirt was clean, ironed and pressed.

"Samaan gaadi mein rakh do."

The soldier immediately nodded, stepping back.

His face was devoid of any expression, yet his eyes carried the warmth.

The airport was suddenly heavy with the scent of polished wood and wax.

Gone was the mischief.

Every step was measured, observant.

I followed him silently,

Until the car rolled onto the streets of Jaipur.

I tried to focus on the streets lined with textile work, and architecture.

Yet I was not able to overlook his presence.

Just as I tried to sneak a glance at him.

He caught my eyes.

🌷

"Aise kya dekh rahi hain?"

She shook her head-looking ahead.

The area was now silent away from the streets.

Clean, carrying an order and authority.

I watched her stiff posture.

The curious eyes,

and a smile threatened to break free on my face.

She wasn't used to travelling.

Or maybe this was new for her.

I cleared my throat.

She immediately looked at me.

I opened and closed my mouth.

But no words came out except for the low hum of the car.

Her eyes were carrying the haze of sleep from the plane.

Hair scattered in all directions, due to the wind.

Yet I was not able to take my eyes off her.

The vermillion looked different on her today.

The faintest streak of pink.

The way she avoided my eyes.

Usually I was the one to look around.

But today her eyes were on the pink of the city,

and my eyes were on the pink of her vermillion.

Her.

Surkh gulaabi.

She blinked.

I inhaled a breath.

The car came to an abrupt halt as the car reached the gates of Jaipur cantonment.

She tried to look ahead.

I held her hand.

Everything was familiar.

The officers lined up immediately.

The red light flashing from the quick reaction team vehicle.

Their red berets flashing in the sunlight.

But the warmth of her hand was different this time.

She looked at me-uncertain.

I whispered quietly.

"Adat lag jaayegi."

With that I turned towards the window.

"Jai hind, Subedaar sahab. Captain Anish Singh. Reporting for the peace posting at the unit."

The Subedaar turned his face towards her.

Examining everything, every step was familiar.

But not for her,

and after an ice-breaker session.

The ride to mess was anything but simple.

🌷

"Welcome to the mess bhabhi ji."

I heard the voice of the adjutant as the music system faded away.

I tried to catch my breath.

His scent felt so overwhelming.

The formalness of the ceremonial uniform felt strange.

The way his knees brushed mine.

Every time he pedaled the cycle.

I was able to feel his rugged breath even with the loud sound of the music and voices of the officers.

The warmth of him.

Not close enough to touch-but just right enough to feel.

Every time my back touched his front by mistake.

I couldn't help but suck in the air.

I blinked away from the memory,

as I tried to look at him.

But he was already looking ahead.

His posture was stiff.

But his fingers were still vibrating with the aftermath.

My thoughts snapped back as I heard the voice of the lady.

She was probably a senior officer's wife.

"Not like this, Mrs. Singh."

Her voice resonated in the empty space lined with sophisticated dining tables.

"Let's test how courageous you are?"

I pressed my lips into thin lines, not understanding her words.

"It's easy, to get the entry you have to propose him, infront of us."

🌷

Her scent had still not faded from my uniform.

The voices around me barely made sense, except for the rapid thump of my pulse.

The way her warmth was instilled in me from minutes ago as I pedaled the cycle.

Despite the noises and eyes.

Only her stiff posture was visible in that moment.

The way she had made repetitive attempts to fix her flying hairs with the gentle breeze,

and at one point she had almost stopped.

Out of proximity.

God.

What was this?

I was able to feel her nervousness.

Yet I was almost out of words after that moment.

That I didn't dare to look at her.

Yet, I was able to feel her eyes on me in the room full of gazes.

It was a whimsical thing for me.

I snapped out from my thoughts as I heard the encouraging voices around me.

"Propose him, propose him."

Her gaze was stuck on the floor.

She fumbled with her fingers.

She gazed at me.

Her expressions were suddenly all calm.

Like she was sure about this.

Or trying to hide the unease behind the mask of granite.

I raised my brows.

Uncertain.

"I don't know how to express my thoughts when it comes to feelings."

She paused as though trying to find the correct words.

Was this even real?

I stepped back, giving her the much needed space, yet somewhere I wanted to hear her thoughts.

"But, I want to tell you one thing-I care for you."

The mess was quiet, resonating with the sincerity of her words.

The silence felt louder, until I was able to feel the loud thud of my own heart.

I tried to speak, but no words came out.

Maybe it was all new for me.

Or maybe I had no answers.

Suddenly Mrs. Rawat's voice came.

"Itne funny moment ko emotional bana diya."

She cleared her throat as she gave her smile.

I followed her silently, as we were directed to the dining table.

Yet her words still echoed loudest somewhere in my mind, despite the clink of cutleries.

And the question was still the same,

as I looked at her.

She was conscious about every move, following all the dining etiquettes.

Was this even real?

Or a formality?

To be continued.

Unedited.